Somerset or Bust

Now I feel like real author again! I've been invited to participate in the Somerset Celebration of Literature Festival in March next year. It's one the leading festivals for Children's writing held at Somerset College on the Gold Coast. I was invited there 10 years ago when Beauty of Truth first came out as a 'young author'. Being under 35 was apparently the criteria for being counted as "young". The young authors panel consisted of me, Markus Zusak and Matthew Reilly. It was slightly awkward becase the panel was chaired by the literary editor of the Brisbane Courier Mail. They had just run a review of Beauty of Truth which to this day remains the most horrible personally abusive book review I've ever read. The reviewer clearly hated me not just the book. She had interviewed on the phone and been very nice, even wished me all the best with the book and then unleashed the vitriol. It was astounding. The editor was lovely. She wasn't able to apologise for the review, but she did say that perhaps she had chosen the wrong person to write it.

10 years later and I'm the only member of that panel not to be an international publishing sensation. Was it something I said? Markus Zusak will also be at Somerset again next year but as the guest of honour at the big dinner!

Perhaps second time round might prove luckier for me.

Literary Festivals, whether you're an international sensation or not, are be great - you get to talk about yourself and be paid to do it. Bonus!

You can run but you can't hide

Catching up with the past
Despite the lack of blog entries, I'm not dead, simply mired in the past trying to get some material out on the next adult book based on aspects of my own childhood. I have to say it's not easy- sifting through your memories for literary relevant events. It's not that there aren't enough, but there are too many. It reminds me of my Uncle Edward who declared with confidence that America was all desert. He took a bus ride across the country and all he saw was desert. He could have easily taken another bus and seen forests, wheat fields, cities and pastures. In writing about your own life you are taking people on a specific bus tour. You can't include your whole life, you have to be selective and give people the desert or the forest tour. Unfortunately that bus tour will then define your life for some people. They'll say "your life was very..." because that's all they've seen but they only see a fraction.

And the past catching up with me
As if that wasn't past focussed enough I got an email from the boy at my school whose name I borrowed for the hero in The Trouble with Sauce, Jonty Townsend. I've had no contact with him since school but someone from my school who keeps tabs on what I do dobbed me in. Fortunately he seems quite amused and has been bragging about it to his sons. I've now got to send a copy of it to him. All I need now is an email from Mr Croxall, the draconian teacher in the book and from my primary school.

Can anyone get away with anything any more?

The Weekend in Review

Everyone in publishing in Australia knows how hard it is to garner any sort of review or publicity for children's fiction - especially if doesn't involve wizards or emo vampires. So you can only imagine how surprised and thrilled I was to get a phone call on Saturday morning to say there was a great review in the Daily Telegraph. It made my weekend.

When the call came on Sunday from another friend I simply thought that they too had seen the Saturday Telegraph, but no - there was another review in the Sun Herald. You could not ask for a better Sydney spread than to be in these two papers over one week.

A huge thank you must go to Emmeline, the publicist at Harper Collins who has somehow pulled off this impressive coup.

All I need now is to be banned from a primary school library and I'm set!

Another Day, Another Reprint

After the great news that The Trouble with Sauce was having a full reprint, I got another email on Monday saying Lab Rats in Space is getting a digital reprint. Another of the benefits of being part of the Harper Collins stable is that they are set up for digital reprints. They're only doing 300 copies, but that's the beauty of digital, they don't need to commit to a big print run and it means as long as people order my books they will be available. Apparently the colours on the cover can sometimes appear a bit different but apart from that it's indistinguishable from the regular print run.

It's great news that they've sold all the original print run in two years. For a children's book aimed at 8-12 year old boys that's not bad. I'm hoping this means they will let me revisit the second book in the series. I know the editor who read the first draft didn't like it it, but I suspect space comedies really aren't his thing anyway. There is lots to improve in the text and a few big things to change, but that's all part of the excitement for me as a writer and I would LOVE to see the full series of 3 Lab Rats books that I planned out there.

It would also mean I could have give a definite answer to all the readers who keep asking me for the second one. Belinda, the publisher said we should wait until there are some more sales figures for my first ABC/Harper Collins book before putting it forward, which makes sense. Still the word REPRINT can only help make the case. I suspect the downside to being part of the Harper Collins stable (and to be honest this will be the first one I've come across) will be they'll want to sure of higher sales before they put something out there.

The merry-go-round comes round again
And so with Trouble with Sauce out in stores, the merry-go-round comes round again and I'm back wondering how to best to make the case for my next book. Hopefully I won't get thrown off the HC merry-go-round which I suspect spins faster than the ABC. Reprint, reprint, reprint, Bruno, just keep at the mantra.

Getting Got by the Go Getters

I was at a book launch last night (the first in long long time). It was for Don't Picture Me Naked by Michelle Bowden. Michelle is an expert in and course facilitator on public speaking and presenting and her book is great manual on those topics. The friend I was meeting there was running late to I was left to work the room on my own. It turned out that the room worked me instead. Full of Michelle's colleagues and friends I don't think I've ever been in such a dynamic crowd of people making excellent introductions and strong first impressions. Men boomed "Hi" in confident voices with warm smiles. Women listening intently with head bent to the side and wondered who else in the room I'd find 'useful'.

Despite years of stand up comedy, MCing vast crowds, presenting work to clients, talking to school children and generally loving public speaking I suddenly felt ill-prepared and sheepish on my opening spiel. What should be my 'impact line'? Should I talk about my fiction writing or my commercial work first? Talking about non revenue generating activities was not an option - although in hindsight if I had mentioned I'd noticed the shop on the street below was a wool shop and that I used to knit, perhaps that would have made a more lasting first impression.

My name tag simply had my name on it. Everyone else had a motion-orientated, active verb, leadership-suggesting business under their name. At the very least I should have had, as a few others did, Bruno Bouchet, Bruno Bouchet Consulting. Still my name tag was pre-printed and spelled correctly which is usually my minimum standard for comfort. I think it was everyone else that was thrown by the lack of organisation name. I was introduced to one person who immediately asked the introducer, 'Are you not going to context him?' My introducer announced that I was very capable of "contexting" myself. I panicked wondering what that might mean and then just said who I was and what I did. It must have worked, as a business card was asked for and offered. Success! I think.

The MC for the event was a man named Rowdy - although perhaps he should have been 'Rowdiest' because the only adjectives he ever used were superlatives - I wondered whether he'd set himself a personal parlour game, get through an entire speech without a comparative or simple adjective. Having said that he did the best possible job in revving the crowd for the author, who proved she could practice what she preached and gave a warm, personal, friendly and funny speech.

It was not your typical book launch doling out warm wine at the back of a bookshop. The people might have been highly energised, but the wine, supplied by Michelle's family's winery in Mudgee, was perfectly chilled and excellent.

Somebody's bought trouble!

A week ago or so I was wondering if anyone had actually read The Trouble with Sauce. Obviously someone has as I've just heard from the publishers that they are doing a reprint - already. Officially it was only launched last week, although it was in the shops before that. Kids books do have much smaller print runs that adult books but this is great news and very unexpected. Good grief, this one might actually earn out its advance!

A big thank you to all the Harper Collins reps who clearly did a great job selling it into the book shops!

In good company

A friend tipped me off that The Trouble with Sauce was featured in a window display in Better Read than Dead, the excellent independent bookshop in Newtown. I trundled down on the weekend and was delighted to see the book was front and centre of a display protesting Parallel Importing, quoting the Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd’s ocker line, Fair Shake of the Sauce Bottle asking him to give Australian authors a fair go. For once it seems timing is on my side to release a ‘sauce-themed’ book! It’s relief to see your book on the shelves in a bookshop - it’s a delight to see it in a window - especially when your publisher didn’t pay for it and every other book in the window is certified best-seller. I’ve never been in such great company. So when I said in an early post everyone should run to the shops for the book, I now amend that to run to Better Read than Dead in Newtown!

The First Reading

The first time you read a new work out to an audience is always nerve-wracking. Reading work out is nearest a writer gets to immediate feedback. Faces are less able to come up with something polite to express. It's even more of a worry when you are reading to children as there is no artifice and no attempts to spare your feelings - just raw reaction. So it was with some trepidation that I read out the first chapter of The Trouble with Sauce to Years 5 and 6 of St Charles Primary school in Ryde yesterday.

It was a wet day, which, as any teacher will tell you, spells trouble in school. Prior to the reading the kids had been noisy. It wasn't that they were bored, but whenever I asked a question they answered it to each other rather than to me. To make it worse the teacher librarian kept jumping in to take control and make suggestions. I was seized with panic. Lab Rats is much more obvious in its appeal for reading, there's farting and wild adventure. Suddenly Trouble felt like it was a serious work with no fun. What had I done? Where were the laughs? I began to read and they began to listen. Past the first page and they were still listening. There's always a couple of fidgeters but by and large, the library full of about 100 kids were listening. There were titters and then gasps as the teacher walks into the trap in the classroon and ends up covered in food scraps. It worked. By lunchtime after I'd talked to Years 2,3 and 4, word came down to the library that there were 'loads' of students wanting to buy The Trouble with Sauce. Hurrah! Nobody had brought their money in so I am going back with the stock tomorrow for a sales and signing session. The pic is me with Year 2 who were very well behaved.

Run to the shops!

Technically it's not officially launched until mid Aug, but The Trouble with Sauce has hit the shelves. All up it's taken a year from me pitching the idea to ABC to the book actually being on the shelves. Looking back it seems like a long, long journey, but right now it seems like nothing - from conception to being on the shelves in less time than it takes to gestate an elephant.

I haven't actually seen it on a bookshelf yet but Dymocks online already have it on their website as do Readings bookshops in Melbourne. Dymocks is an advance for me as they didn't stock Lab Rats in Space. Not sure about Angus and Robertson, the other major Australian bookseller.

Physically the book looks great. The little egg head character that got axed from one of the versions of the cover made it to the back cover which I'm delighted about. The inside front pages are also lined like a school book and fun.

All up I'm very happy with it indeed.

I have about 8 school visits lined up over the next few weeks so I'll have to see how it goes down reading wise. When I've told schools about 'my next book' and mentioned the principals gives the students pills, the kids have gasped in shock - exactly as I'd want.

Two Cents Worth (Australian, not American...for now)

In the raging debate on parallel imports the arguments have all focused on big selling authors with overseas deals. The letters you read, the comments that are quoted are all from internationally published authors. For the lowly, such as myself with no overseas deals it’s still sad news. It means publishers have even less leeway to take a risk on lesser writers that aren’t guaranteed to hit the best sellers. It’s the writers who are simply relieved to still get published at all that will really lose out. The big names may make less money, but they’ll still be published.

Who will subsidise Australian writers?
It’s about transferring money from publishers and authors to large booksellers. Yes publishers made more money under the scheme but that meant they fostered local writers such as myself without any government subsidy. It was a very efficient way of supporting a local art form at no cost to non-readers. Now that unofficial sponsorship will go to Dymocks and Angus & Robertson instead. Has anyone heard their plans to foster Australian writers during this debate?

Anyone who thinks they are going to pass on all the savings on parallel imports to customers are fooling themselves. All the price comparisons between Dymocks current price and the Amazon price suggest the Amazon price will be available here. It won’t. Book chains are duty bound to charge the most they can. They have to and they will pass as little on to the reader as they can.

Commodity Pricing
If books were cartons of milk all this wouldn’t matter but books are more than semi-skimmed beverages. They’re not just products which readers “deserve” to get as cheaply as possible. My books are my children that I have sweated, cried, cursed, laughed and been filled with pride over. There’s always a point in the publishing process when your child becomes a commodity that must be sold. It’s part of the process you have to accept it.
However, this ruling says I was always fooling myself - Beauty of Truth, French Letters, Lab Rats, The Trouble with Sauce were never my lovely children, they were simply the milk I squirted out to be packaged and stacked on shelves.

I'm being studied

Finally, after all these years I’ve been awarded the accolade of being studied in school. In advance of my visit in September, some students at John the Baptist Primary in Bonnyrigg are doing a novel study on Ta-Da! I’m thrilled. I’ve never been studied before. It’s schools schools schools for me over the next two months as Sauce gets released. I had an excellent visit to Cromer Public last week - the kids were great and very enthusiastic. Thanks to everyone there for making me so welcome. Well, almost everyone, the little girl who told me I looked older than on my website doesn’t get any thanks at all.

Schmooze and be schmoozed

It was the blended family’s first test run, would we be the Brady Bunch or guests on Jerry Springer?

On Tuesday night I attended the drinks to celebrate the union of Harper Collins and ABC Books. Even the invitation characterised it as a marriage with a male and female hand. The event was in the Quay Grand, overlooking Sydney Harbour - immediately marking it as an important occasion worthy of pre-GFC excess. As an ABC author I was meant to sit on the bride’s side. On arriving I was greeted with an ‘Oh you’re Bruno Bouchet!’ - the publicist did a very convincing job of persuading me she knew who I was which immediately made me feel important.
‘Now who do you know in there?’ With a reflective glass wall between where we stood and the other guests, it was a hard question to answer.

Delivering the parcel
‘Belinda Bolliger!’ she answered for me, remember the ABC children’s publisher. I was handed over to an assistant, ‘Deliver him to Belinda!’
Duly delivered and issued with wine I found myself in an ABC children’s authors enclave. Every time I tried to speak to someone different, fresh deliveries of more ABC authors arrived for Belinda. Eventually I spoke to a non-author, but even she was from the ABC, running the shops. She got embarrassed on learning I was an author as she had no idea who I was. She recovered brilliantly by knowing my books. ‘Isn’t it funny, adult books are usually sold on the author but children’s are sold on the title?’ she said. She was right, even JK Rowling is sold on the title.

Seek out the marketers
I plunged off to find the most important people to impress - the Harper Collins marketing department and found Emmeline, the beautifully named publicist in charge of The Trouble with Sauce, along with her fellow publicists .This was much better - I was surrounded by the groom’s family. We were chatting pleasantly when the doors were closed from the outside. It was time for speeches and clearly no-one was to leave.

The Godfather moment
I wondered for a moment that a helicopter was about to appear outside the window and spray the room with bullets. That didn’t happen, instead the CEO of Harper Collins, Michael Moynahan spoke and did so really well. I was a bit pissed by this stage so I was ready to be seduced, but he was a great speaker that clearly loved publishing. Belinda had prepped me on this by saying ‘He’s wonderful, he actually loves books!’ - a sadly rare quality in a publishing CEO. Michael’s short and effective speech was followed by Mark Scott, Managing Director of ABC Board. Less inspiring, he span the right lines for the occasion but was also quick about it. Strangely the scion of the evil Murdoch empire spoke with greater non-commercial passion than the head of Australia’s most beloved public organisation.

Let the blending begin
After the speeches, the serious mingling started. Speeches are a wheat from the chaff moment at funcitons. People that are only there because they have to be, can leave with impunity. Those that actually want to be there, stay. I stayed, finding people who knew people I knew: sales managers, editors, marketing people. I even spoke to Michael the CEO until Mark Scott dragged him off for a heavy private discussion outside. It was happening, the two parties were talking, getting to know each other and becoming one extended family.

Grab the bag
As the room thinned out I decided it was time to leave, mainly because the goody bags for the authors might run out. I had been briefed by the publicists to secure a Little Ted bag, much better than the Jemima bag. Little Ted came with a Moleskin notebook, the perfect present for an author. However the most impressive thing in the bag was the Welcome to Harper Collins booklet for new authors. Sent to every author the first time they sign with Harper Collins it featured what happens in the whole publishing process: editing conventions; what mark up symbols to use; the design and layout of books. Miracle of miracles it even included a guide to reading royalty statements. Finally I might actually understand a royalty statement!

Two thumbs up
This is the first time I’ve ever received such a publication and it was a delight - a simple easy item that really made you feel welcome. It capped off an evening that could not have been better engineered to have me walking away thinking lovely things about Harper Collins. Of course, I reserve the right to curse, swear and bemoan the shameless treatment of authors further down the track, but so far so excellent. Consider me blended.

Hot Little Hands

Here it is... well almost. This is the uncorrected proof that gets used for promotional purposes. I've had them for my books before but not without a colour cover. They were made for Lab Rats but I don't think the sales reps ever saw them. It's good to see it in it a physical form for the first time. It's now a thing, an object in the real world. However that means it's also an object that has to be sold, assessed, reviewed... discounted.

Right now is the moment of hope. The moment when I foolishly allow myself to think that this might be a success. I always hear something positive about the book at this stage - 'it's had great feedback', 'the sales conference was very excited', 'certain influential booksellers are very keen'. I get a bit carried away and light a candle of flickering hope in the maelstrom that is Australian publishing.

Leading Edge Title
This time round it's the news that The Trouble with Sauce is to be a Leading Edge book. Leading Edge is a buying group of independent book sellers. Each month they select a number of books which are offered at a slight discount and pushed within their stores. It tends to be known best sellers or books which are more suited to the 'independents' than to the big chains. I think I fall in the latter category. It's certainly a plus being on the list and apparently they don't often do ABC Books. This may be part of the new age of Harper Collins.

First rule of being a minor author: be nice to the reps
I found out about Leading Edge from one of the Harper Collins reps. In my relentless pursuit of self-promotion I engineered a lunch with him via one of the Allen and Unwin reps. It was like a informal handover, from the person who used to sell my books in, to the one who was just about to start. In Australia where there are lots of independent book stores and all books aren't sold on group deals, the reps still play an important role. Book stores listen to them so if they say stock Bruno's book, they probably will. Now, at least I know one of the reps selling my books, or more the point, he knows me. The manager of Kinokunyia was also there - again a big plus. He asked if I wanted to come and do a library talk with him in September. I said YES of course.

Second rule: Pity the Publicist
The big mistake Harper Collins have made in giving me a copy of the uncorrected proof is that it lists the contact details for the publicist on the back. Poor Monica - she's about to get flooded with good ideas and fabulous suggestions on a book for which she probably has about 2.5 hours of work allocated.

Love a good typo

This has to be the best typo I've come across in ages and, best of all, it's not one of mine! South Sydney Leagues Club, located in my neighbourhood is under renovation and is hoping to add a supermarket. The development application, submitted to council and available for public view, says the supermarket plans to run a takeaway café with some highly paid staff:
'The café will be run by a barrister employed by the supermarket.'
As one of my neighbours adroitly pointed out - 'I suppose that rules out suing them for serving bad coffee!'

Moving swiftly on - time for grown ups

It's finally happened - I've started writing the adult novel, the one where I try to be the best writer I can and move beyond being simply entertaining. So far I like my intro page. Going into the story it gets a bit "typical Bouchet" but I can work on that. For the present day parts I'm trying present tense narrative. I always hated that as a reader but for some reason I'm giving it a go here. I want the narrator to be discovering at the same time as the reader.

When we plunge into the past narrative (which is most of the book) I use past tenses. Haven't got to that bit yet.

It's nice to be finally on the way. This one has had more think time and more preparation than anything before. If it were a journey I have packed and repacked my bags, got out the maps, bought additional maps, cross referenced them. I'd have fretted about not knowing the exact route and doubted my orienteering's ability to find the best route.

After a few 4 am panics that I would never set off I had my 'just do it moment' and sauntered out of the door this morning pretending it were just a quick stroll. So far it's all quite fresh and exciting, the countryside is pleasant and I'm settling into my new hiking boots. I don't have any Kendal Mint Cake in my knapsack in case I do get lost. Perhaps this is a mistake, it's going to be a long trek across difficult country.

The final cover

In flurry of last minute activity, the cover has been finalised, the shoutline written, researched and approved, thank yous & dedications rushed through and packs for the book reps put together. Don't let anyone tell you that the book industry can't move fast when it wants to. So far so good with Harper Collins running ABC books. I get the sense that there's more people involved and active and I think there will be a more direct relationship with the reps. There will be for me as I've engineering meeting one Sydney rep for lunch next week. I plan to bribe shamelessly with alcohol.

Here's the final version of the cover. I like it, but when it's finalised I get nervous. It's easy to absolutely love the first versions because you know there's time and space for improvement, but when the invigilator calls 'pens down' that's it. GULP.

And the winner is...

Thank you to everyone who voted on the cover, left comments and gave me opinions on facebook. It was fantastic and very useful. I also canvassed the opinions of over 400 school children at Waitara Public School along with several young friends. Their favourite was No1, with No 3 not very far behind. Number 2 was a distant 3rd. Of course this clashes with the preference on here and at the publishers for Number 2.

I did like Number 2 but pointed out to the publishers that there were similarities to The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. The typeface is virtually the same, the 3-part title-in-the-middle structure and the outline figure are quite familiar. I'm hoping my book will also be featuring "Winner Whitbread Book of the Year" on the cover.
The 'covers committee' at Harper Collins (yes they have a committee!) has now suggested going for Cover 3 with the tomato sauce to be more of a splodge and less of a Dexter-esque blood pour. The pills will be made to look more like capsules than the latest ecstasy tablet. I'm happy with this.

Judging a book by its cover
I've always maintained that this is perfectly possible and if you can't, something has gone wrong. I tested the case with one group of kids at Waitara. I showed them the covers without saying anything about the book and asked them what it was about. They said it was aimed at boys. Most said aged between 8 and 12, some said a bit younger, others older. They all agreed it was a comedy but was a little bit scary too. The book was about there being poison in food or about a boy who hated Tomato Sauce. One young boy developed quite an interesting plot about a boy who thought all the food he was given has something wrong with it and was scared of eating.

I could see how they could tell this from the covers. However they went on to say the book was set mainly in one place in Australia and it didn't move around very much. They were spot on, but I still can't see how they worked that out from the covers. Quite brilliant.

Manuscript Complete
I have completely finished writing the book with the final manuscript now submitted. I had a strange block on the final sentence. It just needed tidying up to make it clearer but I couldn't do it! It took me over 24 hours to fix. Talk about coming a cropper at the final hurdle. The last word is 'do'.

VOTE FOR THE COVER

One of the most exiting moments in releasing a book has arrived - the first concepts for the cover. When asked what I wanted on the cover of The Trouble With Sauce, I said ‘a splodge of tomato sauce on a school book’ so I’m pretty impressed with how the designer has run with that. Here are the three options. You can cast your vote in the column on the right. Please also leave feedback by clicking on 'comments' just under this post. ‘I like 3 but not the font’, ‘it looks like blood’, ‘They’re all a bit....’ or whatever you think.

Vote early! Vote often!

COVER 1


COVER 2


COVER 3

Let’s get pompous

In the many entertaining bits of bad writing I come across, pomposity is all too rare. It’s sadly lacking in the modern world. I do think it’s the most refined way to be up yourself and brash arrogant idiots would do well to focus on their pomposity. Santa Sabina College in Strathfield, Sydney might be a great place to learn, if their ‘Director of Human Resources,’ is anything to go by.
A friend recently submitted his resumé as a casual teacher for the school. Most schools simply call you when needed, some text or email to acknowledge your contact. Santa Sabina sent him this in the post. It’s on a stiff textured card. Look at the gorgeous fake hand-writing font, isn’t it tasteful? I can just see the Royal Doulton saucer on the wooden desk and the hand holding the cup with the little finger delicately poised out.
Does a school really need a ‘Director of Human Resources’? And if this director is so important why is she (I’m just guessing gender here, feel free to challenge) sending out cards saying she has passed someone’s details to herself. The language is delicious, ‘if a situation arises where your particular qualifications may be appropriate.’ It’s a school and my friend’s a teacher, what more appropriate qualification is there? He’s not a bricklayer asking for a job in knicker factory.

In the meantime: The Slap

I have to admit I don’t often read contemporary Australian fiction. This is particularly embarrassing at writers’ festivals when I have to keep answering ‘No’ to questions starting with ‘Have you read...’ Sadly I never get asked if I’ve read obscure 18th century gothic novels like The Mysteries of Udolpho when I could answer positively. It’s especially embarrassing when it comes to award winners. However I can answer ‘YES!’ to “Have you read The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas” and I even read it before it won the Commonwealth Writers Prize. I can also enthuse about it without reservation - it’s a brilliant book. A group of family and friends are gathered at a barbecue. You know from the cover that someone is going to slap a child and all hell will break loose. What’s great is that you just don’t know who right until the moment it occurs. It’s lovely piece of suspense. As the story of the slap’s aftermath progresses the author moves from one character’s perspective to another. I love that fact that Tsiolkas draws you into each of these characters. Even the ones that made me groan with annoyance when I discovered we were following them seduced me and became fascinating people I didn’t want to leave. It’s a gripping portrayal of contemporary Australia centred on a Greek family and the various people around them. For overseas readers who want to insight into a contemporary society completely different to one portrayed in soaps, news and Baz Luhrman TV ads, this will be an eye-opener. For Australians the book challenges our own prejudices - and not simply in terms of whether you think the slap is justified. That is, quite literally, just the beginning.

Next draft submitted

OK I have to admit after the paralysis of the feedback, I am very happy with the net result of the changes to The Trouble with Sauce: the lead have more depth and my evil headmaster is now a much more interesting character which readers might relate to in a strange way. It’s one of the magical things about writing and is that you can go in and change something early on in the book and then suddenly something else further along the track quite unrelated suddenly makes a lot more sense - it’s as if the new section earlier on was always meant to be there.

I did give my editor some feedback on the feedback - in a positive way, which he was grateful for. So yes I did get feedback on the feedback on feedback.

Yikes, paralysis!

I guess it's like waking up to find out that your legs don't work. I got the feedback from the editor on The Trouble with Sauce and found out my brain/finger combination didn't work. I was right, he did HATE it. The feedback was so comprehensive in its list of faults (the plus side could have been written bus ticket) that I couldn't look at the book for over 2 weeks. I felt like sending the advance back and not bothering. It's a new experience for me. Normally the editor's feedback would have jumping out of my bed, determined to make the changes required to the book. With this, every time I swung my legs to the edge of the bed, they simply refused to walk. I knew they could walk. I knew they could run and jump, but like the most cliched soap opera, it was not the flesh that was weak but the mind. And by the way, I should know about cliched soap opera, the editor asked if I had been writing soap (Yes it was that bad!).

However after a week of miserable silence followed by a week of bitching, moaning and declaring I would never walk again I finally managed it. No, I didn't leap out of my wheelchair to rescue a small child in danger but I did manage to sort the wheat from the chaff in the feedback, see the many valid points that were made, and discard those I disagreed with.

I am walking freely through the text now and very happy with results so far. The only problem is, how do you tell your editor nicely you think their communication skills need some work? Can I give feedback on feedback? Would I then get feedback on my feedback on the feedback? Would it ever end?

It's been sent off

I’ve submitted the manuscript The Trouble with Sauce.  It sat ready for a few days, I’ve taken it as far as it can go without outside feedback, but something was holding me back, I’ve been really nervous about sending this one off.  There are three possible reasons for this.

1) It’s just not good enough

Part of me thinks it doesn’t work, but I couldn’t actually say why. I can’t pinpoint anything and say that’s wrong. The plot is fun and the characters are engaging. When I go through it, each chapter works, it’s not too long, it progresses the story, develops the characters, entertains and usually ends with a reason to start the next chapter and yet, I’m unsure.

2) It’s my baby

When I send the email with the text to the ABC, it’s also the point where it stops being my baby and becomes a product to be packaged, altered, stuffed in boxes and put out on shelves. It becomes a thing that has to sell, rather than the progeny of my imagination.

3) It means I have to start on ‘the big one’

When this book goes off that means it’s time for me to start on the next adult one, the one where I actually try to be a good writer instead of mildly entertaining one. That’s pretty scary. I know the time is coming, paragraphs, chapters and ideas pop into my head. Like a kettle about to boil, things are rising with increasing speed to the surface. Time to pour soon. That in itself is challenging and reason enough not to send off Trouble.

So which is it?  Much as I would like to be about clinging onto babies, it’s down to options 1 and 3 with option 1 being the strongest. 

My editor said he would try to get back to me the next day. I thought that was ambitious. It’s now a week later and I’m fearing the worst. If the email response starts with a line about what he ‘did’ enjoy about the book, I know I’m doomed to paragraphs of what didn’t work. If on the other hand he kicks of with ‘there’s still some work to do,’ or ‘there’s a few bits need tidying up’ I know I’m OK, and the inevitable ‘but’ will be a positive one.

It’s not brain surgery, but it’s close

One of the lovely things about writing books, and especially children’s books, is the enormous good will you receive from virtually everyone. I can think of few other professions where you can ask for help and it is so eagerly given. Imagine an accountant coming to you, asking for some help in putting together their figures - short shrift I would imagine. Not as a writer. For a scene in The Trouble with Sauce I needed some technical information on brain surgery: parts of the brain and implements used, so I turned to Adam, a psychiatrist friend. His eagerness to help was a treat: he did some research and even consulted his colleagues at the hospital where he works. They were all fascinated and equally enthusiastic. On being given the outline of the plot, the child psychiatric specialist gave it a thumbs up in appealing to boys.

The net result was sitting with Adam in the cafe beside the El Alamein fountain in Kings Cross being presented with a delicious array of new words. We giggled over the names of the implements: Raney Clip, Cottoniod Sponges and the splendid Caspar Vertebral Body Distractor. What fun I could have with a ‘body distractor’! It sounds like a surgical belly dancer who seductively arouses and distracts the body while the brain is hacked into. There is also a host of different ‘ronguers’: pituitary, Ruskin (a rhyming rongeur perhaps?) and trimline. However, the perfect implement for Trouble was the wonderfully descriptive Brain Retractor. It was even more thrilling when I looked up pictures of it. (See below). 

I was like a child in a toy shop who thinks he knows all the toys there were, suddenly then discovers a whole new section to play with.

Final breakthrough achieved

The point when you first reach the end of novel you’re writing is like breakthrough on a tunnel. It may just be dirty hole that lets through light but at least now you can walk through from end to end. The start of the tunnel is in much better shape than the end. The tunnel boring machine that is my mind’s imagination has chugged along at its lumbering pace, breaking a few cutting heads on the way. At the rear, the editing and polishing side of the mind works much faster and has almost caught up.

...and even a title!

I have achieved breakthrough on The Trouble with Sauce (yes I have finally decided on a name...I think) it’s a significant moment: the book now exists, it is a physical thing in the real world. Unfortunately the tunnel that is my book is far too long. It’s 30,000 words and it needs to be 25,000. The tunnel has come out at the right place but obviously there are a few more twist and turns than there should be if readers are to charge through at the required pace.

I’m now in the ‘it’s not good enough’ worrying stage. I run up and down my tunnel polishing, clarifying and adding enriching detail, all the while trying to reduce its length. 

I think I’m more concerned about how the editors will receive this book than any previous book. It might be because nobody else had read it. I may have gone completely off the quirky scale, the characters may not be defined enough. The list of things that I think need to be better grows every time I look at it. This could be a good thing. It could be a commitment to quality (...mmm I think I must still be in advertising mode with that phrase) but a nagging doubt remains.

Future decided...sort of

It’s finally been revealed that ABC Books will now be a partnership between ABC and Harper Collins after nearly a year of negotiations. Belinda at the ABC says this has good potential for authors. I will have to hope they don’t opt for a cull on the quirkier, not so stellar sales end of the writing roster. I got a good sense of position on the ‘importance scale’ with the announcement. ‘Key authors’ were phoned directly to be reassured about their contracts. The rest were emailed on the day of the announcement. I didn’t get the call. I didn’t even get the email! How lowly is that? This blog is rapidly becoming the literary equivalent of ‘My Life on the D List’.

Still I have a contract, I’ve been paid my advance and work is steaming ahead on the cover. However uncertain the future for authors (key or otherwise) is, the employees at ABC Books are doing it tougher. They know they don’t have jobs at the ABC after May, but are yet to find out if they have jobs at Harper Collins. Nice.