Shock Triumph at Children’s Book Week Awards

It’s the Children’s Book Council of Australia children’s book week.  At 63 years the event is, apparently, the longest running children’s festival in Australia. I think we can safely expand that to ‘in the Southern Hemisphere’ until NZ or Argentina complains. Each year the week kicks off with a lunch at the South Steyne, a ship permanently moored at Darling Harbour with a dubious line in sausage-based catering.

It’s a chance for local primary school children to meet authors, decorate their tables and, more importantly, get out of school for a few hours. I was seated with a fun bunch of boys from Shore Prep School. I always seem to get the private boys schools - must be that refined charm I exude. At the lunch they also announce the winner of the various Children’s Book Council Awards. 

Was this my chance to finally win an award? 

The chances were slim. I wasn’t aware if had even been nominated, but that could have just been ABC Books being slack. In the end, like an Australian male swimmer at the Olympics I did a PB  and came my closest yet to winning a Children’s Book award. My table took out the coveted third prize in the table decoration competition. I’d like to think I played a vital role in this near win, but sadly my main contribution was knocking a glass of coke over and soaking half the table along with the paper hat the boys had made for me. In my defence the boat slopes horribly at the edges so it’s like eating on the side of a steep hill.

Authors v Illustrators - it’s war!

Book awards and decorated tables aside, the real competition at this lunch is between illustrators and and word-based authors such as myself. It can be humiliating for non-drawers. Last year just before Sydney Writers Festival I was asked to participate in children’s events. It was obvious that I was a ring in after someone else dropped out but organisers rubbed it in by telling me they normally ‘preferred’ authors who were illustrators because they were more entertaining. Thanks!

Today there was an illustrator at my table, Mathew, a nice guy who took an early lead in the ‘coolest guest at the table’ competition because he could do drawings for the boys and show a T shirt he’d designed. However at the right moment I wheeled out the big gun:

‘I need a photo for blog, everyone gather round.’ 

Then I pulled out my new 3G Iphone and waited for the chorus of delight. Going in for the kill, I let them take photos with it. Just when the illustrator was recovering from that blow I delivered the knockout:

‘Why don’t you all email it to yourselves?’

More coos of joy as they all punched in their email addresses into the Iphone and mailed the picture off to themselves. 

‘You must be really rich,’ said one boy.

‘No, I’m just on a good plan.’

Victory secured.

This was a rare triumph for my species. Normally at this event it’s illustrators all the way. Part of the proceedings is a chance for the kids to go around and collect autographs. Of course those damn illustrators whip out a felt pen and draw something fantastic. The drawing process has the added benefit of taking time which then creates a queue, making them look extremely popular and drawing more children to them.

When I looked at the autograph books as they came to me, I felt like slapping the authors that had just done their scribbled name. Cowardice under fire. I did my best to compete to the bitter end, chatting to each child, asking their name and writing a unique sentence for each one. This did extend my queue quite nicely and brought a smile to some kids faces too, but still it was not nearly as cool as a drawing. 

700% increase in sales

There’s also a bookshop at the event. This year’s crowd seemed far more receptive to my books than last year. At the 2007 gig only one copy of my books was sold: the teacher on my table obviously felt sorry for me and ducked out to buy Lab Rats. This year I’m pleased to report that unprompted by sad puppy dog looks from me, 7 copies of my books were sold - an exponential increase which could be the start of ‘sleeper hit’ status.